P. S. 13 M. L. Lindemeyer

Our Student Liaisons spent weeks revising a story. Now their hard work being shared throughout our school. In its original format the story was meant for new teachers but it has been made meaningful for our students. This story is one that speaks to the power of peer influence and how it can be positive. I hope you can take the time out to read this story. Each one of your children has the potential to grow strong, resilient and successful. If they surround themselves with supportive peers, known in this story as marigolds, their chances of success will increase. Help your children to identify the marigolds to surround themselves with. Help your children become marigolds to support others. Together the P.S. 13 community can flourish. 

 Marigolds No One Grows Alone story.docx

• Make sure that your child does all their homework and reading assignments, this will help make sure your child is prepared for the test. 

• Encourage your child to space out their studying and homework assignments so that they won't be forced to cram on the night before the test. 
• If you are anxious about your child's test, it's okay but try to keep cool around your child, you don't want them to get anxious about their tests too. 
• Encourage your child to do well but don't pressure him/her. You may stress him/her out. It is important for your child to stay relaxed for the test. 
• Keep a positive attitude about tests. 
• Provide a quiet, well lighted area with little distractions to help your child study efficiently. 

• Mark down test days on your calendar so you and your child are both aware of testing dates. 
• Make sure that your child gets enough sleep on the night before the test. 
• Ensure that your child eats a healthy breakfast and avoid heavy foods that may make him/her groggy and avoid high sugar foods that may make him/her hyper. 
• Make sure that your child gets up early enough so that he/she will be on time to school. 
• Let your child relax for a few hours before bedtime, it can be stressful for a child to study all night. 

• Talking about the test with your child can relieve stress about test taking. 
• If your child is struggling on their tests, talk to them about it and meet with their teacher to find out the best way to help your child. 
• Praise/reward your child when they do well on a test or for their hard work preparing for a test. 
• Encourage them to do better if they don't do well. 
• Review the test with your child after they have taken it and go over any mistakes they have made and make sure that they understand what they did wrong and how they can improve for the next test. 

Calming Children with Self-Calming Strategies

Step 1: Don’t Give In

• Remain calm, don’t show any emotion to your child.  If you have to walk away so you can compose yourself, do that.  If you need to tag in your spouse to handle the problem because you’re too emotional, do that.
• Try to wait the tantrum out for a bit.  See if it goes away on its own if you don’t give it much attention.  Just monitor your child for safety and make sure that your child doesn’t put himself in any dangerous situations (like throwing a tantrum in the knife aisle at Bed, Bath, and Beyond).  If he does, calmly move him away from danger without making a big deal out of it.
• Remove your child from the situation.  Carry him out of the store (if you can do so safely) or back to his room.  Try to isolate him from any attention he may get for the tantrum.
• Wait till it passes.  Because it will.  Eventually, your child will tire and that’s when he will need a hug.  Be there with his hug when he’s ready for it and have faith that the rest of these steps will make these tantrums better.  (But again, don’t give in to what he wanted, even after the tantrum stops).

Step Two: Identifying Calm Vs. Upset

The first thing you need to do is teach your child the difference between being calm and being upset.  You will want to do this with your child when she is calm. 

Show your child the thermometer and say “when we are happy and calm, we are down here at the bottom”.  Explain to your child that she is calm right now and show her where she is.  You can even show her pictures of other children who are calm and happy.  Then, tell her that when we are not happy, we are the top of the thermometer.  We are upset.  

Step Three: Teaching Calming Strategies when Calm

• The Balloon: Have your child hold his hands in front of his mouth like holding a small balloon.  Tell your child to blow up the balloon.  As he blows, he spreads his hands apart to pretend the balloon is getting bigger.  Once the balloon is as big as it can get, your child claps his hands together to “pop” the balloon.
• The Pretzel: Have your child fold herself into a pretzel and squeeze.  Have her wrap her legs together and fold her arms across her chest like she’s hugging herself.  When she is as twisted as she can possibly get, have her squeeze hard.
• Take a Walk: Have your child take a walk to cool off.  Sometimes just walking around a bit can help.
• The Bunny: Have your child pretend to be a bunny.  He can get down on the ground like a bunny or just sit on his bottom.  Have him breathe like a bunny does in short, quick breaths.  Don’t let your child do this too long or he might get dizzy but a little bit of shallow breathing can bring his breathing back under his control.  Follow this up with some long deep breaths, like hissing like a snake or blowing out candles.
• Write a Letter: Have your child “write a letter” about why she’s mad.  Get out a piece of paper and a big fat crayon.  Have your child scribble violently all over the paper.  This should release some tension.  If your child is older, you may actually be able to get her to write down why she’s mad.  When she’s done, have your child read it to you or just crumple the paper and throw it away.  If this strategy works for your child, you can have a calm-down bucket or stash that has paper and a crayon just for such an occasion.
• Count or Sing the ABCs: Have your child count as high as he can or sing/say the alphabet.  Many times this is enough to bring the breathing back under control to quell the tantrum.
• Hug a Pillow/Stuffed Animal: Have your child pick a pillow or stuffed animal to hug.  Tell her to squeeze it hard so she can get all of that upset out.  She could also tell her stuffed animal why she’s upset.

Step Four: Practice the Calming Strategies When Your Child is Upset

Now that your child knows the strategies, it’s time to put them into action.  The next time your child starts to get upset, try to catch it before he gets completely out of control mad.  Say “Your body doesn’t look green, let’s get our calming board”.  Bring him the calming board and show him where he is on the thermometer.  Label his emotion for him by saying “You are upset” or “you are mad”.  Then, ask him to pick a calming strategy to try.  If you’re lucky, he’ll remember his training and pick a strategy so you can help him through it. If he doesn’t want to pick a strategy, you pick one for him and demonstrate it.  Don’t force him to do it with you.  Then, wait a minute or two and try that whole process again.  Eventually, he should calm down enough to be able to do a strategy. However, the first several times you try this, it may take a while, especially if he’s just now getting used to you not giving in to his tantrums.  Just keep trying it every few minutes until he’s ready to do one with you.  If you stay calm, that will bring him down even faster.  Eventually, your child should be more willing to do this.  If you do it consistently with him, he will get to the point where you can say, “You look like you need to calm down, why don’t you go pick a strategy.  

Provided by: Latiana Wilson, MSW, School Mental Health Consultant/info source: http://speechandlanguagekids.com

MH Campaign March 2019-Calming Children with Self.docx 

 During Respect For All Week our fourth and fifth grade students took part in an assembly about the Holocaust.  Shira Stoll, the presenter, is a Multimedia Specialist and video journalist at The Staten Island Advance/SILive.com created this project. She was be accompanied by Holocaust survivor Arthur Spielman who shared his story along with his 9 minute video testimony for the students. You may view his video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkeXZYvnP5o&index=9&list=PLmfU9Rwz88W2sZDW3sbpDa0HTnb_a1Jbm

After watching the video testimony our children had the opportunity to speak with Arthur Spielman and Shira Stoll about their experiences. I was in awe of the thoughtful and thought provoking questions they asked of Arthur. The message of the assembly overall led students to the realization they should not judge others for their differences. Our students also spoke about how important it is to treat others with respect and stand up for others if they see any acts of bullying. 

After the assembly the students wrote notes to Arthur and some of the other survivors living on Staten Island. See below for an example of just some of the amazing letters our students wrote. 

This Pajama Day our students learned about Martin Luther King Junior and his inspiring dream. Student's then took the time to share their own dreams.

Check out what they shared below.  

12 Tips for Raising Confident Kids

1. Model confidence yourself.Even if you’re not quite feeling it! Seeing you tackle new tasks with optimism and lots of preparation sets a good example for kids. That doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be perfect. Do  acknowledge your anxiety but don’t focus on it—focus on the positive things you are doing to get ready.
2. Don’t get upset about mistakes Help kids see that everyone makes mistakes and the important thing is to learn from them, not dwell on them. Confident people don’t let fear of failure get in their way—not because they’re sure they won’t ever fail, but because they know how to take setbacks in stride.
3. Encourage them to try new things. Instead of focusing all their energy on what they already excel at, it’s good for kids to diversify. Attaining new skills makes kids feel capable and confident that they can tackle whatever comes their way.

Click the link below for the full list. 

 12 Tips for Raising Confident Kids.docx 

Enjoy the Holidays More With Mindfulness

Slow down and get more out of this busy season

Contrary to common belief, one effective way to cope with the holiday madness is to SLOW DOWN and take a little time each day to cultivate and practice mindfulness. Perhaps you’ve heard about this concept, which is rooted in Zen Buddhism, and has recently become more popular in Western society. Research has demonstrated that practicing mindfulness is associated with improvements in well-being, physical and mental health, relationship satisfaction, and attentional focus. In addition, the practice of mindfulness has been shown to help reduce stress and associated negative emotions such as anxiety and sadness.

You may be asking, “Okay, so on a practical level, how can I be mindful?” In reality, there are infinite opportunities to practice mindfulness during each day. Here are some suggestions to get started:

1. Find a quiet place for just a few minutes (e.g the bathroom, as for some people this is the only quiet spot!). Get yourself into a comfortable sitting position with your feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing only. Do this for a few minutes. Listen to the sound of your breath and notice how your body feels during this time. When thoughts of other moments come racing into your mind, acknowledge them and let them go by as if they are on a conveyor belt, and refocus your attention on your breath again. Do this over and over.
2. Spend a few minutes each day writing down five things you are thankful for that day.
3. When you are walking outside, focus on one of your senses. For example, for vision, notice the colors of objects around you or for hearing, listen to the sounds around you and label them nonjudgmentally (eg “That building is gray,” or “I hear a horn honking”).
4. Get the kids involved! One favorite thing I like to recommend is good old fashioned bubble blowing. Make a game out of it and instruct them (and yourself) to silently watch the bubbles float around the room. Resist the urge to pop the bubbles and see where they go.

By taking a few minutes each day to be mindful, perhaps even more than once a day, we can give ourselves the space to get in touch with ourselves, to fully experience the meaningful moments that often pass us by, and to take time to practice gratitude for what we have in our lives. Instead, we can experience gratitude daily, reduce our stress, and be more in touch with the little things that make all the difference.

Cited from:childmind.org/Jill Emanuele, PhD

This month your children are learning about Internet Safety during our monthly Guidance Assemblies. 

Some things they will be learning are:

• What personal information is and what not not to share strangers online
• What netiquette (online etiquette or good manners) is and how to use it 
• What to do if they see or read something inappropriate
• What to do if they are being cyber-bullied 
• What a virus is

Always  monitor what your children are doing when they are using phones, tablets, laptops or gaming consoles. Talk to your children about what they are doing and seeing during this time. A lot of our tips tell students to speak to their parents or trusted adults when something is making them uncomfortable online so be sure to keep this communication open. 

Check out these resources: 

1. This site has some great videos and games to teach your kids how to be safe on the internet. Watch together! 
   • https://www.netsmartzkids.org/
2.  A game google that teaches students how to be safe online 
   • https://beinternetawesome.withgoogle.com/en_us

Check out this month's read on the benefits of staying calm and not raising your voice when communicating with your children. 

 Nov 2018 MH Campaign.docx